I settled into an idea of what my Friday night would be: a small dinner out with good friends. But then, of course, there was the snow, and the roads were still not that great. After putting up my hair and doing my makeup, I had to accept the fact that I would spend this evening at home with a bottle of Pinot Noir…and some bacon.
Ladies, and gents, I have cabin fever.
During the snowstorm, I decided to start to watch the American Film Institute’s top 100 films. Last evening, I watched Citizen Kane. Of course it’s brilliant; however, I kept thinking about Kane’s troubling relationship with his second wife, Susan Alexander. He builds an opera house for her, even though it is clear to everyone that she is an abysmal singer. He builds Xanadu, a creepy castle. The poor woman wants to go out and have some fun, but she is TRAPPED in a freaking mausoleum putting puzzles together!!! Of course she leaves him!
Just because you’re in a relationship and settled in doesn’t mean that you lock your wife or girlfriend up in the house so she can watch you watch television. Who wants to sit around for that?!?! Certainly not me. When I’m dating a guy, I don’t mind watching movies, but that gets old. And boring.
The death of relationships are part and parcel due to boredom. I don’t think you should dump someone that you’re with just because you’re bored; but I do think that it’s important to do new things, and fun things. Regardless of whether you are single, dating, or married, it is important to occasionally move outside of your comfort zone, to always cultivate an imagination, to read poetry, to think about philosophies. My best friendships and relationships are with people who are constantly growing in their faiths, growing in their intellectual lives, and reconceptualizing what their lives ought to look like.
Kane’s desire to possess Susan Alexander is one of the reasons why he died alone, dreaming of his stupid sled. His fixed nature and inability to yield or bend destroyed him.
I am, like most, a creature of habit. I love the same restaurants (hoity-toity though they may be), I listen to the same music (I can’t get over how amazing Alice Smith is!) But I am learning, slowly but surely, that growth comes from new experiences.
Tonight, I’m staying in, but I promise myself, I will find something new to do.
Have a happy Friday night!
king RJD 