Dude rolled up in a 1993 Pontiac leaning out the window like he wanted to holla. I was rocking a shorter-than-holy shirt dress + espadrilles. We traded glances, but I kept my lips in a pinched, thin line. I didn’t have a problem with his car, or even with him casting a glance in my … Continue reading Date a Boss (Chick)
He was a good mix of Stringer Bell and Cutty, with plenty of grown man swag. Took his street skills and upgraded to a government job. 6’4, dark skin, perfection. We laughed long and loud at jokes I can’t remember. * We met at that delicious moment on a Saturday when the night is still … Continue reading the perfect breakup
Only a truly good friend would agree to watch Gone with the Wind. It’s a 4 hour saga about love, loss, the South and the Civil War. Of course, I don’t like the film’s treatment of black people, but it is still a wonderful film. Scarlett O’Hara is both wonderful and terrible as she attaches herself to … Continue reading Gone with the Wind + Friendship
I settled into an idea of what my Friday night would be: a small dinner out with good friends. But then, of course, there was the snow, and the roads were still not that great. After putting up my hair and doing my makeup, I had to accept the fact that I would spend this … Continue reading Cabin Fever (or no woman wants to sit around the house all the daggone time)
From my limited experience, it seems as though a lot of black men have a fear of ugly feet on women they are initially attracted to. Ugly feet, apparently, can be a game changer. Remember the scene in Boomerang? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP7_SIRfo-c Eddie Murphy’s character sleeps with Lela Rochon, who is unquestionably beautiful. The morning after, he … Continue reading Black Men and the Fear of “Hammertime” Feet
I grew up in Brooklyn, where at 13 my friends and I practiced our responses to boys who would holla at us from bodegas. Back then it wasn’t called street harassment; it was just a series of friendly interactions that culminated with us offering fake names and fake phone numbers, even to the boys we … Continue reading On Beauty
There is currently a war against women’s bodies. All women–fat, skinny, in-between, pregnant, non-pregnant, old, young, middle-aged–are objectified and critiqued. And most women, myself included, feel the pressure to look perfect. Here are a few examples of this very real phenomenon: 1. Yesterday, the New York Times published an article about how mannequins in Venezuela … Continue reading Even the Mannequins? The War on Women’s Bodies
I woke up at 4:50 am and puttered around my kitchen, stumbling over my own two feet to make my french press and wash the dishes. At 5:30 am, I heard a text. Really? I thought. “You’re not really up, are you?” he asked me. I was so irritated I snapped back. “Of course I … Continue reading it’s too early in the morning to flirt
In 8th grade fashion, one of my friends told me that one of her friends has a crush on me. I appreciated the compliment and was so surprised by this that I laughed out loud. I spend so much of my time running from crisis to crisis that I stopped thinking about dating. I … Continue reading Do You, Boo Boo: Women, Dating and Authenticity
While the lot of us break our necks trying to look better, I *love* fictional characters who show us the messy side of life–and the internal dialogue that goes along with it. They make it seem cool and awesome to be awkward. Terrible at karaoke. They show us what it looks like to be vulnerable … Continue reading The Importance of Imperfection
king RJD 